To Live or Die?
by Katie Barone
Summary: Ian has lost two of his best friends and seems to be unable to cope. After several suicide attempts he ends up in the hospital where he somehow ends up seeing his dead friends. He realizes it is a hallucination due to a drug. Eventually a new family moves in down the street from Ian's house. They have a son named David who changes Ian's life and possibly saves it. (Iancorn AU)
1. Chapter 1- the awakening

**A Note From the Author: **

**Okay so this is my second Iancorn story. It will be darker and will involve drug use. For now this won't be rated M, but you never know what will happen later. Originally this chapter was going to be longer, but I can't seem to focus so I shortened it. So that means tomorrow you'll either get the rest of this chapter or a super long one…. Enjoy and feel free to review!**

"How's he doing?" a worried woman asked nervously. From her voice alone you could hear she hadn't slept and was getting close to going insane from not being notified about her son's condition.

"Your son still isn't awake ma'am. We're just lucky you found him when you did." A man said in a calm reassuring tone. He saw that his words didn't help the woman and added, "I promise we'll let you in to see him once he's up and his vitals have been stabilized." The woman replied with a muffled sob as she returned to her seat.

Finally Ian opened his eyes. He found that instead of being in some strange afterlife far beyond the human world he was in a hospital. Looks like over-dosing on sleeping pills wouldn't kill him either. He went to sit up when he realized he was hooked up to a handful of machines and there was a tube in his throat, probably to help him breath. Carefully he pulled it out and set it next to him on the hospital bed.

"Anthony! He's awake," Matt said as they rose from the guest chairs across the room to stand at their friend's bedside. Matt slapped Ian across the face, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Ow!" Ian exclaimed as he reached toward his face but the number of cords and IVs attached to him restricted the movement, "What was that for?"

"For trying to kill yourself dickhead," Anthony replied, forcing himself to not hit Ian as well. This whole scene confused Ian even more. He remembered trying to kill himself, but only because Anthony and Matt were dead. At least he thought they were dead. Not to mention Joshua was taken off life support a few days earlier and was hopefully still fighting for his life upstairs.

Anthony could see the bewilderment and confusion clearly written all over Ian's face, but said nothing because he had no answer to what was going on either. "Listen, just don't go suicidal again, I didn't like watching my best friend laying there lifeless in front of me. "

"Hey!" Matt said as he bumped Anthony's shoulder, "What about me?" Ian laughed and stuck his tongue out at his friend. While he was having fun joking around with them like the old days before the accident Ian was still trying to figure out if they never died and all of this was real or if this was just some dream his mind had created as a coping mechanism that would just upset him later on, but at that moment the door to his room opened and two nurses hurried in. Matt and Anthony looked at themselves in shock as they started to fade away.

"Ian?" One of the nurses said as she realized he was staring into the distance. That brought him back to what was happening in his room, "You shouldn't have pulled this tube out. Are you alright?" Ian replied with a simple "yes" as he continued to stare where two of his best friends had been standing a moment ago.

"I'm stopping the morphine drip." The other nurse stated as he removed the bag that was running liquid into Ian's body.

"Good," the nurse next to Ian said, "Then go get Takahashi" she added. While Ian tried to decide if Anthony and Matt were a just a dream or a product of a medication he might have been forced to take. Finally after a few minutes of wondering, a Japanese man walked in.

"Why, it's good to see you awake Mr. Hecox."


	2. Chapter 2- remembering

**Okay, so here's chapter two. Just as a reminder, I'm not condoning suicide; this is all just a fanfiction. Enjoy and feel free the review with any comments! **

Dr. Takahashi, a Japanese man who appeared to be in his mid-forties, walked into Ian's room with a smile that was clearly forced. He glanced at the paperwork the nurses were filling out before he took a seat on the edge of Ian's bed.

"Mr. Hecox," He said as he pulled out a small light to check Ian's eyes. Once he appeared to find what he wanted he put it back into the pocket of his coat. "I'm sure you're very confused as to why you're here; you probably don't remember much. But before we explain can you tell me the date?"

Ian nodded, he knew exactly what day it was and why he was in a hospital. However he decided to not cause trouble and humor Dr. Takahashi's request. "It's January third." Ian answered, assuming it was the day after he took the sleeping pills.

Dr. Takahashi seemed satisfied. He nodded as he jotted things down on Ian's file, "Very good." The doctor then turned to the two nurses and gestured that they leave. Once they were gone he turned back to Ian, "We understand that you were trying to kill yourself by over-dosing on some sleeping pills," Ian nodded so show he was paying attention, "However, being that you were not prescribed the pills and had never taken them you didn't know the dosage. You took a good amount of them, but not a lethal dose. At some point while you were in the bathroom waiting to die the sleeping pills kicked in and you passed out and hit you head against the sink. When your mother heard the bang she hurried up the stairs and found you." Dr. Takahashi paused, "If she hadn't found you when she did you would have died of blood loss."

Ian scoffed at the thought. He had been trying to kill himself, whether it was over-dose or blood loss. It didn't make a difference to him because life wasn't worth living without best friends. He reached up to run his fingers through his hair when he felt the stitches in his forehead; he really messed up this time.

"Your mother is out in the waiting room and would like to see you. She'll be here in a minute." Dr. Takahashi said as he left. Ian tried to protest, but before he could his doctor was gone. What would she have to say about this? Though this wasn't his first suicide attempt, it was the only one that ended up putting him in the hospital. The other two failed so badly that he was able to chalk them up to being a stupid teenager, however this was different than walking out in front of a speeding car or sitting in the garage with a running car.

This all would seem out of character to his mother, but Ian could trace this all back to one single event, the car crash. Anthony had just dropped Kalel off at her house after a dinner date. Anthony, Matt, Joshua, and Ian were all going to go bowling with some other ids from school to celebrate making it through another semester of high school. Anthony had already picked up Matt and Joshua and was heading to Ian's house.

It was probably a normal drive, discussing school and how glad they were to be starting winter break. Some small conversation about video games, but most likely smack talk about who would end up with the highest score at the end of the night. Then a drunk driver turned down the one-way street they were on, heading in the wrong direction. He was barreling down the street far above the speed limit; Anthony didn't have enough time to get out of the way before they crashed head-on. The drunk driver and Matt were killed instantly the paramedics told us. Anthony died at the hospital during emergency surgery to remove his broken rib that had punctured his lung. Joshua on the other hand was sitting in the backseat. He had smashed his head into the back of Anthony's seat and had broken his glasses and nose. He had a broken arm, a dislocated knee, and internal bleeding, but was awake enough to call 9-1-1 before he went unconscious.

He was being kept on life support until two days ago. His family wasn't the richest and Joshua's medical treatment was getting to be too expensive for them to afford and his condition hadn't changed, so they made the tough decision to pull the plug. Though by some miracle, Joshua was still hanging on and breathing on his own the odds were stacked against him. The worst part though was when Anthony's mother came by last week and asked Ian to come by and help clean out Anthony's room saying that he could keep anything he wanted to remember him by. That's when Ian lost it.

Any hope that he could just grieve and move on like normal person was lost when he realized that Anthony and Matt; and probably Josh too; were never coming back. Cleaning out his friend's room was the worst thing he ever had to do and it killed part of him. The joking and contagious laughter Ian had disappeared like Anthony and Matt, or was forced. Now Ian was a shell of his former self, not living but merely surviving day after day.

Then Ian's mother opened the door and brought him back to reality, face covered in tears of relief. "I'm sorry mom," was all Ian could bring himself to say. She sat down and scolded him for having suiciadal thoughts, but it was halfhearted because she was just happy her son was alive. As Ian continued to comfort his mother he thought about what he saw. _Were they Matt and Anthony's ghosts? Were ghosts even real?_

Before he could continue his though a nurse ran in; she was out of breath from having ran down two flights of stairs. Ian recognized her as the nurse from Joshua's floor. He had visited Josh a few times since the accident, hoping for him to magically wake up, and she was always sitting behind the desk of the nurses' station. "He's awake Ian!" Was all she was able to say before Dr. Takahashi hurried over, followed by his two nurses.


	3. Chapter 3- realization

**AN: Happy New Years! Because I have no life and apparently no need for sleep I decided to type up this chapter for you guys 'cause I love ya! My gift to you, hopefully you like it!**

**Also, for those who may be wondering when the heck Lasercorn will come into the story, I'm sorry, but it won't be for a few chapters. Hopefully within the next two, but they'll have to be two LONG chapters! I'll see what I can do! Enjoy and feel free to review,**

At first Ian was amazed the nurse he made small talk with twice even remembered his name, then what she said sunk in. Josh was alive; he had beaten the odds and pulled through after being taken off life support. Perhaps it was good Ian wasn't able to kill himself. Maybe he hadn't lost everything; in that moment he almost forgot Anthony and Matt were dead, he almost forgot how he was able to see them when he first woke up. All he thought about was the fact that his friend was a couple floors above him probably without a clue as to what happened.

Dr. Takahashi appeared to be just as shocked and immediately left to check for himself. "I have to see him!" Ian announced as he pulled the wires from his arm and jumped out of the hospital bed. Before he could take a step three male nurses came towards him telling him to sit back down. When Ian refused they used force and pushed him back onto the bed. Two held Ian down while the other reinserted his IV to pump morphine into his system and sedate him. As the whole image grew hazy he saw his mother being pulled away begging them not to hurt him.

_ Joshua's room_

Joshua wasn't sure what was happening. All he knew was that he was in the hospital, his arm was broken, and apparently none of his family or friends could be bothered to be there for him; just a nurse that was paid to sit there and watch over him. After several confused and slightly offended minute sitting in his bed by himself a doctor finally entered the room.

"Hello Mr. Ovenshire," the doctor said as he looked at the monitors Josh was hooked up to. Then he proceeded to check Joshua's eyes with a small flashlight he seemed to magically pull out of thin air. "I'm Dr. Takahashi. Your nurse tells me that you know what year it is, but no specifics like the date, correct?" Joshua nodded and opened his mouth to speak when a pretty young Japanese girl cautiously walked in.

She was in a red and white dress; clearly she was some sort of hospital candy striper. Joshua wasn't even aware that program still existed. "Father," she complained to his doctor, "I'm bored. You haven't given me a real job and when one of the other doctors try to you give it to someone else. I signed up to volunteer because I wanted to actually help."

However that was all a lie, she had no interest in the medical field. She just wanted to please he parents and show interest in what her father did. "Mariko, I'm with a patient." Dr. Takahashi replied without even turning to look at his daughter. But that answer didn't plead her so she pushed farther. Finally Dr. Takahashi relented, "I actually do have an important job for you. There is a boy in room 243 that I need to be brought up here to this room. Can you remove the cords and wheel him up here?"

The girl nodded as she turned on her heel and left to complete her job. When she got to room 243 she found the teenage boy he father was talking about. Seeing that the only thing he was still hooked to was the IV she began slowly lowering the dosage to wake him up.

"Welcome back dummy!" Anthony said as Ian opened his eyes. Ian sat up and looked around. He found Matt was sitting across the room, curled up like a cat, sleeping in a chair across the room. Anthony got up and sat down on the side of Ian's bed.

"So, have I gone insane or did you two not die?" Ian blatantly asked. This whole situation, while it was good to see Anthony and Matt, was bugging him and confusing him more and more. A

The smile Anthony was wearing slowly faded, "No, we defiantly died, but for some reason you can see us." Ian scooted over so Anthony could lie down beside him, head in the opposite direction. He gladly accepted and crossed his legs, trying not to kick Ian in the face.

"So," Ian said staring at the ceiling, "What's dying like?"

Anthony sat up a little to look Ian in the eye and laughed a little, "Not as bad as you'd think," He replied, "there were sharp pains for a while before and then it slowly started to fade away. I haven't felt anything since; that's the weird part. It's like your limbs are constantly asleep, but it doesn't come with the horrible tingly feeling like it does when you're alive."

Ian nodded, "And the same for Matt minus the pain because he died on impact?" Anthony just looked at Ian like he w s an alien, "You know, cause he died right when you guys got hit." But Anthony's expression didn't change. It was like he didn't know why he was dead. Then it hit Ian, Anthony actually didn't know why he died.

While Ian didn't really want to be forced on the emotional rollercoaster the story put him through he forced himself to. Anthony was his best friend, he deserves to know what killed him; no matter how much pain it put Ian through. By the end of the explanation Ian's eyes had become misty and Anthony was silent. Ian knew Anthony was starting to have a panic attack so he quickly tried to change the subject, "Hey Sohinki!" he called over to Matt, who jumped in shock as he opened his eyes. Then Ian remembered his most important piece of news, "Oh, by the way, Joshua's awake! He's going to make it."

Before he could get a reply from them or say anything else Ian was pulled out into a whole different world. "About time you woke up," a Japanese girl, about his age, said as he rubbed his eyes and frantically looked around the room only to find that, once again, his friends weren't there.

"Um, who are you and what are you doing in my room?" Ian asked, trying not to sound rude.

"Oh, sorry! I'm Mari; my dad's your doctor. Anyway," she said as she swung a wheelchair around to Ian's bedside, "He wanted me to bring you upstairs to see some other guy. Hop in!" Ian decided not to question her because he really needed to see Joshua. As he got out of the bed he grabbed the back of his hospital grown to keep Mari from getting mooned as he sat down.

As she wheeled him to the elevator something in his mind made a connection, "Hey Mari, what all was I hooked up to?"

"Just morphine," She replied indifferently.

As they got in the elevator Ian decided he had to find out why he was able to see Anthony and Matt, "Mari, can you do me a favor. It's really important; you just can't let anyone, especially not you dad, know about?" She nodded carefully, not sure what she was getting herself into, "Can you find out if morphine causes hallucinations or anything like that? I can explain everything to you later; I swear, I just have to know. Please?" Ian begged.

Mari wasn't sure what made her trust this complete stranger. Whether it was simply because she wanted to actually do something at the hospital or if it was because of how desperate and trustworthy Ian's crisp blue eyes looked. "Okay, I'll Google it or something before I come to take you back to your room." As they walked up to Joshua's door Ian thanked Mari. Then she opened the door.

"Ian!" Joshua exclaimed in relief that he finally saw someone he recognized, "Why are you in that wheel chair?"


	4. Chapter 4- confide

**AN: Look how lucky you guys are, another chapter today. I hope you like it and again, I'm not supporting drug use or suicidal thoughts. Enjoy.**

Ian was emotionally exhausted after he finished explaining the horrid tale of how Joshua ended up in the hospital. Every time he told it the pain became real again, like it was the first time he was hearing it too. Dr. Takahashi opted to have Ian tell Joshua, hoping it would lessen the trauma such information would cause, but it seemed no one cared about how it made Ian feel. They must have just assumed that Ian was over it, that the initial pain and shock of it was over, but it wasn't

Joshua sat there, silently, taking in all this information. It was obvious he was doing his best not to cry, but eventually he gave up on that tactic, allowing the tears to flow freely down his cheeks. Ian forced himself to stay strong for Joshua, but even with that thought in mind he couldn't stop his eyes from watering as he watched the emotional rollercoaster his friend was being sent on. There was the initial shock where he didn't know what to do. Then he came to terms with the fact that Anthony and Matt were dead and never coming back. And finally the psychological pain; the massive amount of tears and cries of torture that start out loud as if he was trying to get the dead to hear him, until Joshua finally grew quiet and silently sobbed.

Then a whole different emotion took control of Josh's face. "So wait; I'm here beca- because of the a- accident. Then why are you here. I mean in the hospital gown and wheelchair." He asked.

Ian sighed; he had hoped Joshua would be so wrapped up in the details of the accident that he wouldn't think to ask about Ian's current situation. "I- well; you gotta understand… I was told all three of my best friends were basically gone. Then I had to clean out Anthony's room for his mom. I had reached a low I didn't think I'd be able to bounce back from. I'm still not sure I can, but I um, didn't have anything left…" Ian said. As his explanation went on he grew quieter until his voice was almost inaudible. Joshua looked at his friend in complete and utter shock. To think that the boy he once knew to be full of jokes and laughter had tried to kill himself sent him through a whole different kind of hurt. Josh pushed the sheets off of him as he carefully crawled to the foot of his bed near where Ian's wheelchair was; which was extremely painful due to his broken arm and dislocated knee, but no matter how much pain he felt, it was worth being able to rest his hand on Ian's shoulder and comfort him. Figuring Ian had already received the third degree from his mother he just sat there silently with him.

After a few more minutes of sitting in sad silence Mari returned to escort Ian back to his room. Instead, however, she took a seat next to Joshua on his bed and pulled out his file. "Hello…" Mari said as she skimmed over his name, "Jovenshire. What kind of name is that?"

Ian and Joshua snickered a little as Joshua pulled the papers from her small hands and pointed to his name, "Ya see, it's J. Ovenshire; the name is Joshua." He extended his arm to invite her to shake his hand.

As Mari accepted the handshake with a smile she said, "Well I'm still going to call you Jovenshire, okay Jovie?" He replied with a smile and a nod. "Ian, my dad wants me to take you back to your room to rest. You all done?"

Ian was about to nod when he realized he didn't even tell Joshua the biggest part. The fact that he could talk to Anthony and Matt! Then something stopped him; _how would Josh feel about that?_ Ian thought to himself as he allowed Mari to take him out of the room and head back to his own. _Would he be upset he couldn't see them?_ Before Ian could think any farther on the topic Mari spoke up.

"I Googled it," she said as they entered his room. She stopped his wheelchair by his bed so he could lie down while she closed the blinds to the large window that allowed the nurses to see into his room, "apparently morphine is a hallucinogenic! But it gives people who use it nightmare-ish visions; nothing anyone would want to be forced upon them. And apparently the most complaints of hallucinating came from a prescribed morphine called Oromorph. Now, onto your half; I want to know why I just spent an hour looking all that up."

Ian glanced up as he nodded, trying to read her expression. It wasn't everyday you told someone you could see your dead friends and it might have been because of drugs. He kept his explanation short and simple. That he had lost his two friends in a car accident and he was somehow able to see them when he was drugged up on morphine. Mari nodded, "They probably gave you the morphine originally because they pumped your stomach. They again because it was the only thing in the room and did it to knock you out without thinking about what they were plugging you into," She said.

As Ian finished speaking his lunch tray came in. The only edible looking thing was the hamburger, which he ate happily and offered the rest of his food to Mari. They sat around and learned that they actually had a lot in common. They liked the same bands, books, and TV shows; they even realized they went to the same school and had somehow never met. Everything seemed like they'd make a great couple in all actuality, but Ian just wasn't attracted to any of the girls at his school and Mari felt like a sister or cousin.

Eventually the dinner cart came around to collect the empty lunch trays and replace them with dinner. Again Ian took what he wanted and offered Mari the rest. Once they were done Mari stood up and grabbed the food free tray to take it out to the nurses' station. "Bye, my Dad's shift is ending soon and I need to find his to make sure I get home."

"Mari," Ian said as she turned the door knob. She turned around to see what he needed, "can you, um…" he said quietly as he gestured to the morphine IV. Reluctantly she nodded and hooked up the IV; she knew she shouldn't, but again his blue eyes worked their magic and forced her to keep him happy.

"Ian, Ian honey," he heard his mother say softly into his ear as she gently shook her son awake. Ian had been right in the middle of a debate with Anthony and Matt about what was the best starter Pokémon when he was forced back into reality. "Ian, the doctors discharged you, go get dressed so we can get you home."

Ian looked around the room in horror, his eyes quickly moving from location to location to see if an answer was hidden somewhere on the walls or floor. No hospital meant no morphine; no morphine meant no Anthony or Matt. That wasn't a jump Ian felt like he was ready for, "Mom, I need to see Mari right now!"

"Ian, are you alright?" his mother asked with concern at how afraid her son looked, "I don't know who you're talking about." He explained that she was Dr. Takahashi's daughter and that it was extremely important he talked to her before they left.

"I'll get dressed while you find her. Just have her sit in here or something until I get out. Please Mom." Ian insisted as he grabbed the clothes his mother had brought for him to change into while he pushed her out of the room to find Mari.

Once he had his plain blue shirt and worn-out jeans on he left the bathroom to see Mari sitting on his bed patiently await him. "I need another favor," Ian said as he slumped down in a chair across from her. Before she could say anything Ian lowered his head so his bowl haircut covered his eyes. "I'm being sent home… and I was wondering if you could get me some of that Oromorph, or whatever it was called, for me? I know we'd both get into a lot of trouble, but…" He said as his voice faded away.

Mari looked at him silently. She knew they would have almost any prescription downstairs in the hospital's pharmacy, but if she got caught her father would be furious. On the other hand, if she didn't help him who knows what Ian would be capable of doing? _Would he become depressed and, even with Joven, and go suicidal again and actually kill himself? _Mari thought to herself; she didn't want to know the answer. She stood up and nodded in agreement as she left to go to get Ian the Oromorph.


	5. Chapter 5- handshake

**AN: I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but it's kind of a transitional chapter so that's the way I wanted it to be! Hope you enjoy!**

****And again I warn you that I'm not condoning drug use and these substances are dangerous!****

Ian was discharged from the hospital two weeks ago. Mari had given him the Oromorph that day and since then he'd been taking 40 mg dosages daily after he got home from school. Once school started up that was his day to day schedule. Go to school, eat lunch with Joshua and Mari, go home and work on homework, then spend time with Anthony and Matt via morphine before his mom got home. On the weekends he'd sometimes hang out with Joshua and Mari to play video games or go to a movie, but more often he lied and said he was busy so he could take an extra oversized dose or the Oromorph and visit his hallucinated friends even longer.

"Mari," Ian had said yesterday after lunch had ended and Joshua had already left for class, "Mari, I'm almost out…"

She stared at him in shock and confusion for several seconds, "Ian, that stuff was a three month supply! What do you mean it's gone already? It's been two freaking weeks, how much are you taking?" She asked with a slight annoyance and anger, but mostly concern, in her voice.

Ian ignored her questions entirely, not bothering to mention that his hallucinations were growing shorter, "Look, I did some research of my own and apparently there is this other morphine pill that is stronger, like it's a high grade or something. Can you get me some of that? Like a six month supply of Oxycodone?" He could tell she didn't think it was a god idea, "Please Mari; I love you and Josh like family, but Anthony and Matt were like brothers. I can't just live without them. I'd rather be dead!" Ian begged.

Mari hated herself more than ever in that moment. She knew she shouldn't give Ian more morphine when he was so clearly addicted and needed to get help, but the thought of him dead when she could have prevented it bothered her even more, "Fine," Mari yelled as she scurried off to class in tears.

The next day Ian went to the hospital with Mari after school to get his pills; by the time he got home his mother was in the kitchen cooking a very large dinner. He didn't ask why and he didn't stay downstairs long enough for her to ask about his day. He ran up the stairs to hide the Oxycodone and then sat down on his bed when the doorbell rang.

Ian heard his mother call something from the kitchen, which he assumed was her asking him to get the door. He went down the stairs, taking them two by two, and opened the door to see a man, a woman, and two boys. "Hi," the woman said, "We're your new neighbors down the street. We just moved in and our power isn't on yet. Your mother invited us over for dinner."

Ian stepped out of the way to let the family in; now realizing why she was making such a large dinner. The older boy looked to be about sixteen, Ian's age, while the other was probably eleven or twelve. His mother emerged from the kitchen to offer the guests a seat. "Hi," said the older boy, "I'm David."

Ian shook David's hand before they went into the kitchen, but the handshake was different; it seemed like there was a spark in it that sent a warm feeling throughout Ian's cold limbs, the best way to describe it was soothing.

David and his family seemed nice enough to Ian, though other than the short introduction, David said nothing during the entire meal. "Ian, honey," his mom said, pulling his eyes away from David's silent figure, "Why don't you take David up to your room to play on your Xbox?"


	6. Chapter 6- a short return to normalcy

**In this chapter Ian starts to feel the side effects of the morphine. Again, Drugs=dangerous. Enjoy!**

As Ian played David in Mortal Kombat he could immediately tell they'd become good friends. Not because Ian was the first person David met in California, but because they were so similar. The quiet boy from dinner was gone and was replaced by a kind, interesting, and funny one whose sense of humor matched Ian's.

That was the best part, while Ian, Joshua, and Mari were close friends; he was only funny when he needed to be. After Anthony and Matt died so did Ian's free, fun and comedic nature; that is until now. It was as if David was raising the old Ian from the grave. As strange as it seemed to Ian, he had to admit that the two hours he spent with David were the most naturally happy hours he had spent off of Morphine.

To Ian, it felt like David had brought a warmth and happiness that he'd lost with his friend's passing. Just like the handshake earlier David brought a soothing nature to Ian, which he needed desperately. All too soon though, it had to end. His father called him from Ian's living room, saying it was getting late and that he'd need sleep for his first day of school tomorrow.

As it turned out, David would be going to the same school as Ian, Joshua, and Mari. "So," Ian said as he scratched the back of his neck, "I could show you around the school and make sure you don't get lost or anything. If you want, I mean?"

David smiled, "yeah, being the lost n00b isn't exactly what I was looking forward to…" he replied as Ian walked him back downstairs, "Oh! If you want I could give you a ride o school, I mean if you don't drive."

Ian agreed with a smile as he watched David's fleeting form hurry down the driveway before he announced that he was going to bed and returned to his room. As quickly as David came and brought warmth to Ian the minute he left he could feel it disappearing as he changed out of his clothes. He reached under his pillow and pulled out his Oxycodone. He swallowed four of the tablets dry and tried to find a comfortable position in his bed as he waited for the effects to kick in. Within minutes Ian sat up to see Anthony and Matt messing around on his laptop. "Look who decided to grace us with his presence" Matt announced as he turned and saw Ian sitting there.

After going through the basic formalities such as how school was, how Kalel was, how Joshua's physical therapy was going, or even questioning how Mari was; which after Ian gave her description Matt constantly asked about. "And then," Ian mentioned, "my mom invited some new neighbors over for dinner."

They both replied with a groan, "That must've sucked," Anthony added.

Ian shook his head and continued, "No, it was actually pretty cool; they have a son, David; you guys would like him. He's pretty awesome and good at videogames. Plus he plays Magic the Gathering!" Ian added to Matt. While they were impressed with how great this new kid sounded they were hesitant to actually accept him. They saw him as a possible threat to their friendship with Ian. How long until he stopped using the pills to visit with them? How long until they became a distant memory? However they didn't voice their opinion in fear that they'd push Ian farther away from them.

A couple of hours went by before Ian feel into a peaceful sleep where he had a dream that he, David, Anthony, Matt, and Joshua were all playing a connected game of MarioKart via the DS. He wasn't himself in the dream though; it was like he was looking down at it from overhead; as if he were on omniscient force. Then the whole scene changed; it had started out normal until Ian laughed and laid down, resting his head in David's lap with a smile. David played with Ian's hair momentarily before reaching down to give him a kiss on the forehead. As surprised as Ian was with the image, it didn't bother him. He then began to rethink his sexuality; that's what shocked him enough to wake him.

It was about a half hour from when he would have normally gotten up, but before he had a chance to think through what the dream was trying to tell him, if it was saying anything, he suddenly felt like he was on a tilt-a-whirl at a carnival. With much effort he got to his feet and stumbled his way to the bathroom, bouncing off the walls on his way.

Once he was finally in the bathroom I flipped the lights on to be greeted by his reflection. He saw how bad he looked. The dark circles that had been under his eyes had grown darker. His lips looked to be slightly off color and his was a pale shade of green. The moment the image was analyzed Ian doubled over in pain and felt his stomach acid slowly rising in his throat.

After thoroughly emptying his entire body into the toilet, Ian sluggishly walked back to his bed room. As much as he wanted to just go back to bed or take some Oxycodone to see Matt and Anthony, Ian knew David was counting on him to help him around the school. Not wanting to disappoint him Ian forced himself to get up and get dressed before going down stairs to eat a light breakfast. As he grabbed his backpack Ian saw David park his car and walk up the driveway to knock on the door.


	7. Chapter 7- caught

**AN: So I managed to type up another chapter for you guys! I have a warning for you too though, unfortunately my Winter Break will be ending tomorrow so I don't think I'll be able to update this fanfiction as often. I'll do my best to type as much as I can tonight and tomorrow to get a little stockpile of chapters and I'll try to type as often as I can. But for now: Enjoy this chapter!**

David had barely reached the door when it swung open, revealing Ian, who still didn't look so great. His face still had a slight hint of green and his eyes seemed to be darker than they were twenty minutes ago. David looked Ian up and down again before coming to the conclusion that he shouldn't be going to school. "Ian, I think you should stay home. No offence, but you look like shit."

Ian shrugged David's comment off with a laugh. "Nah, I feel fine." Ian replied as he watched his parents pull out of the driveway, heading to work. Ian stepped out the door to leave with David when the dizziness hit him like a ton of bricks, this time was even worse. As he turned to lock the door behind him he started to stumble and fell over, hitting the wall.

"Yeah, we are not going to school. You'll never make it through the hallway and I can't just leave you when you can barely walk." David said as he grabbed Ian's key out of his hand and unlocked the door again. Carefully David put his arm around Ian to help him walk back inside; at David's touch Ian felt like he was feeling better. After he drank the glass of water David gave him Ian did feel well enough to walked, but instead feigned dizziness to force physical contact between himself and David. "Let's get you upstairs," David said, putting his arm around Ian once again; but pushing himself closer to Ian's body this time.

When David got Ian to his room he flopped down in the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. This left David sitting there by himself, not sure what to do. After playing a few rounds of Mortal Kombat against the computer, which put up almost no fight, David stretched and yawned. All last night he'd been thinking about Ian and trying to figure out how his feelings for him; in the end he realized he might like Ian more than just a friend.

Not wanting to scare him, David carefully laid down on Ian's bed, promising himself it would just be four a minute. He stayed far enough away to make sure he wasn't touching Ian. Then, after the few minutes he promised himself went by, he gave himself longer until he eventually fell asleep.

"Shit!" David whispered as he slowly opened his eyes and rubbed them. Ian was still fast asleep, but had apparently rolled over, closer to David, and wrapped him in his arms. As David tried to pry himself out so he could act as if none of this happened he realized how strong Ian really was. Careful movements would never untangle him without waking Ian so he was forced to remain still and create an explanation for their current position.

Finally Ian woke up, surprised that he was holding David, but instead of instantly pulling away with a shocked expression he smiled as he slowly released David, hoping to not be greeted with anger. To Ian's surprise David rolled over to face him with a smirk, "Just couldn't get enough, could ya?" He asked.

David wasn't even sure where that confidence came from to ask such a question. He never thought of himself as a flirty person, when he liked someone he stayed quiet and kept it to himself for so long that by the time he asked them out they already had a boyfriend. He began to blush so he got up, hoping Ian wouldn't notice. Ian replied with a laugh as David tripped over his own backpack and feel into Ian's desk, knocking over some papers. "Are you alright?" Ian questioned as he quickly got out of bed to help David up. Then he realized when David fell he pushed a bottle of Oxycodone onto the floor. He tried to grab it quickly so David wouldn't see it, but it was too late. David picked it up first, reading the label.

"Oxycodone?" David asked as he took the hand Ian offered out to help him up, "What are you taking this for?" David tried to act as if he was just curious, but he was concerned. He knew exactly what Oxycodone was and how dangerous it could be.

"Oh, just…" Ian tried to manufacture a lie, "pain relief." Ian knew David wouldn't believe him the minute he said it. "Look, it's nothing. It doesn't matter," Ian said, reaching to grab the bottle from David.

David moved the bottle behind his back so Ian couldn't get to it, "No way. I can't let you have this back. These are fucking dangerous Ian! Did you even read the side effects?" David showed Ian the side of the bottle and started listing them out without having read them. "Nausea, dizziness, sleepiness, blue lips, fainting, and seizures! You can't just take this stuff whenever you want, it's highly addictive. It could kill you!"

Ian just stared at David; he didn't understand, he didn't have his side of the story. "Calm down, I'm fine. It's fine; I'm not addicted to those things."

David shook his head, "Dump them in the toilet and flush them then." He challenged. Ian shook his head and grabbed the bottle out of David's hand with ninja like speed.

"You don't know… You wouldn't understand." Ian said as he stuffed them under his pillow and sat down on the bed, his face buried in his hands. Ian was finally breaking down, in all the time since the car accident Ian hadn't actually cried. Yes, he'd gotten teary eyed, but never actually cried the way Joshua did back in the hospital.

David saw how clearly Ian needed someone at that moment and walked over to him and sat down next to him on the bed, pulling him into a hug. "You can tell me about it if you want?" He offered, "I'll listen." Ian took in a deep staggered breath and began to explain what led him to this point.


	8. Chapter 8- honesty

**So here is the next chapter, I don't want to ruin it by trying to hint at what will happen so I'll just take this space to thank everyone who has taken time out of their day to read this. So thank you and enjoy!**

"…And after I got out of the hospital I've convinced Mari to give me morphine so I could still see them." Ian finished in tears. He buried his face farther into David's shoulder. He knew he was ruining David's shirt by coating it in his tears, but once the emotional dam he created was cracked the water just kept coming and Ian knew there was no way he could stop it.

David was surprised and amazed at what Ian had gone through. He knew Ian was broken, but David refused to think he couldn't fix him. He pulled Ian in tighter and stroked his arm soothingly as he kissed the top of his head.

They stayed in this position for an hour after Ian eventually ran out of tears. Their bodies seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces, with anyone else this would have grown awkward, but David and Ian didn't feel anything but longing for one another.

As nice as it was, David broke the embrace to scoot back on Ian's bed to lean against the wall. Ian soon followed him, not wanting to stray too far from David's side. "Now can I tell you something?" David asked. Ian nodded as David rested his head on Ian's shoulder. "Two years ago my uncle started getting really bad back pain because of his job. So he had to go in for surgery and they put a metal rod in; after he got out of the hospital he was still in a lot of pain so they put him on Oxycodone." David explained as Ian realized why he knew so much about the medication, "And he started to become addicted to it, you could just tell by the look in his eyes if he wasn't able to take a pill at the normal time. It was like he turned into a different person. He would yell and hit my little brother and me when whenever we told him to stop taking them. Then he started getting the symptoms the bottle lists; his lips turned a blue-ish color, he fainted randomly, got confused for no reason, and then the month he died he started to have seizures."

David took Ian's hand as he spoke and squeezed it lightly, "The seizures were upsetting him so he started to take larger doses until he finally took the lethal 80 mg and died on the couch…" David trailed off as he looked up at Ian, who was looking into the distance with a frightened expression. Is this where he was heading? Before he met David the idea of dying was nothing more than a welcomed thought, but now Ian felt like he had a reason to live. As much as he missed Anthony and Matt he didn't want to die for them anymore. He started to think about his family; then Joshua and Mari. All the reasons Ian hadn't thought about before were suddenly so clear to him. How could he have ever thought suicide would help him? "He was my favorite uncle; then after he died I didn't know what to do. One of my friends told me that when they were depressed they used to cut themselves." David said, straightening his left arm to reveal a few small pink scars near his elbow. "I realized pretty fast that was a stupid idea; and not what my uncle, before the morphine changed him, would have wanted."

Ian reached out with his free hand to grab David's left arm. He looked at the cuts for a minute before he started carefully tracing them with his fingers. "So please," David said as he watched Ian's nimble fingers on his arm, "please dump that bottle." Ian was still skeptical, not wanting to just leave Anthony and Matt without saying a proper goodbye first at least; then he remembered his other two bottles. David hadn't found those, "For me, flush them for me." David said; praying Ian would listen to him. That request, doing it for David, almost made Ian grab his other two bottles too. Instead Ian nodded as he ran his hand through David's short hair. They got up and walked to the bathroom. Ian opened the bottle silently and poured them into the toilet; he looked at them, trying to decide if this was the right thing to do. He could hear Anthony begging him to come back and visit say that he missed him. _I'll see you tonight_, Ian though as he flushed the toilet, _don't worry Anthony, I haven't forgotten about you._

David let a small smile of relief show on his face thinking that he wouldn't have to worry anymore about Ian and Oxycodone. Ian still hadn't moved so David took small steps toward him. As he shut the toilet's lid to hide the pills as they washed away he put a hand on Ian's lower back before pulling him into a close, proud embrace. Ian gladly accepted the physical contact as he looked into David's eyes. They could both feel it coming, the tension growing the longer they stared into each other's eyes. Neither one could look away, Ian's crisp blue eyes, as always, were hypnotizing and David's brown eyes, while not nearly as unbelievably beautiful as Ian's were full of so much kindness and depth you could easily get lost in them. They slowly leaned in for the kiss when they heard the door swing open and forced them apart. "Ian, I just got a call from your school!"His mother announced angrily as she walked in and dumped her purse on the hook by the front door.


	9. Chapter 9- rescue

**AN: What is Ian thinking? Before I spoil anything I'd like to thank everyone again and warn you that the next chapter will be darker and more disturbing, so look forward to that! Enjoy and feel free to review! **

David looked up at Ian with a half hearted smile after their chance to kiss was ruined by Ian's mother's return home. They slowly walked downstairs, knowing she wouldn't be happy, but the minute she saw David her whole demeanor changed. "Oh, I didn't know you had company over Ian." She said calming herself down slightly, "Did you skip school too David?"

David nodded sheepishly before deciding how to explain all of this, "Well, when I came to pick Ian up to drive him to school he didn't look well. He'd been vomiting and just didn't look like he should be a school, but I couldn't just leave him here. I really wasn't sure he'd make it up the stairs without falling down." Ian looked at his mom to see if she was going to accept this half-truth as the whole story. "I just wanted to make sure he'd be alright ma'am." David added as earnestly as he could. His mid-west manners and charm clearly won over Ian's mother.

She looked at Ian who just nodded in agreement, "Well thank you then David. You didn't have to do that; you'd better get home, I'm sure you'll mother will want answers too." With that David nodded, grabbing his backpack off the couch where he had left it when he came in this morning. Thanks to David, Ian didn't have to deal with an angry mother.

"Mom, I've been feeling better since I woke up from my nap, can I walk him to his house?" Ian begged. She looked at him for a minute, trying to tell if he was lying or perhaps if his eyes looked glassy, which was a sure sign he was sick. Apparently whatever she was looking for checked out and she allowed the two boys to leave.

Once out the door David remembered his car and got in, offering Ian the passenger's seat. He gladly accepted and expected David to start the car to drive the seven house distance between their homes, but he didn't. David looked at Ian for a moment then kissed him. It was quick and had an electric spark behind it like every touch they shared did except it was stronger and better than Ian could have imagined. Ian wanted more, but by the time he went in for another kiss David had already parked outside his own home and gotten out. "I'll see you tomorrow, I'm driving." David said as he opened Ian's door to let him out. David turned toward his house to leave when Ian grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him into a longer kiss. Their mouths moved with one another like the gears of a clock, perfectly fitting together.

Ian wanted to just stay there, in that moment, and kiss David. However his lungs eventually ran out of air, forcing them apart. David was breathing heavily as he watched Ian agree that he'd see him tomorrow and walk away. The whole thing felt like it happened in slow motion to David; Ian pulling him into the kiss of his lifetime, his boner growing as the kiss deepened, and then Ian pulling away all too soon. He was dazed, not sure what to say or do; just go inside or run after Ian? Eventually his mind won over his heart and he decided to just go inside and start setting his Xbox up in his room.

Ian had gone home and had diner in silence while he thought about the kiss over and over again. Unfortunately all good things had to come to an end; it was getting late so he decided to go to his room where he was greeted by a horrible decision. To take the Oxycodone or to just play some games and go to bed? Anthony and Matt or David? Reality or fantasy? The thought of not ever seeing Anthony and Matt again was painful, but knowing he disappointed David would feel just as bad. Then he remembered his promise, the promise he made to the voice in his head earlier; that he'd at least say goodbye if nothing else.

As David plugged in the last of the cords and went to play Halo he felt something weird in the pit of his stomach; a worry he couldn't shake. He never thought to ask Ian if he had anymore morphine, as he realized his mistake he dropped what he was doing and yelled, "I'm spending the night at Ian's," before running out the door.

Just as Ian made the decision that he'd only take two pills and go to bed he heard someone banging at the door. He wasn't sure who would be there this late, but went to check anyway, placing the pills on his desk. He opened the door to see a breathless David, panting from having run all the way over to his house. "What are you doing here?" Ian questioned; while he was happy to see him Ian suddenly felt self conscious about deciding to make one last visit to Anthony and Matt. David didn't reply, the minute he was breathing properly he pushed past Ian and walked up to Ian's room. Seeing the two pills sitting on the desk David turned to see Ian, who was burning up with shame. "I'm sorry," was all Ian had the voice to say.

David wanted so badly to just be angry and yell, but he knew it wasn't Ian making the choice. It was the addiction, "I know, I know." David said as he took a step toward Ian and held as he broke down again, muttering incomprehensible sentences. Only a few words made it out, like 'Anthony and Matt' and 'goodbye'. David carefully walked Ian over to the bed and covered him with a blanket as he sat down next to him lightly stroking his hair as he promised Ian it would all be okay. After a few hours David fell asleep holding Ian comfortingly, at that point Ian reached under his pillow and pulled out a small bag of Oxycodone and swallowed two pills dry. As bad as he felt about going behind David's back Ian knew he owed Anthony and Matt a proper goodbye; he'd already decided that after tonight he'd flush everything else, but he needed this for himself, for closure. He snuggled back into David's arms as he drifted off into a hallucination.


	10. Chapter 10- beloved nightmare

**AN: Hello everyone! Hope you're having a good week if you're at work or back in school. Here's the next chapter, I don't want to waste too much of your time, but this chapter specifically (But in general Anthony and Matt's presence in this fanfic) is based off of an amazing song from Next to Normal called "I'm Alive", so if you have a free second you should listen to it! Well, that's it for my rambling! Enjoy the chapter!**

"Hey man!" Anthony said to Ian as he looked around the room, "how've you been?" Ian saw Matt sitting by the door to his room; he looked up with a smile when he saw Ian.

Ian waved to them and replied, "I'm great, how are you guys?" Ian noticed Matt and Anthony look to each other, clearly sharing some secret with one another, "What was that about?" Ian asked with curiosity.

Matt spoke up first, "I just didn't think you were going to come back. I was worried you'd forgotten about us." As he stood up Anthony sat down on Ian's bed.

"I'll never forget you guys," Ian reassured, "I'll always remember you guys. No one ever forgets their best friend; no matter how far apart they grow. I love you guys like brothers!" Anthony and Matt smile as they listened. "…but I won't always be able to visit you."Ian said, his tone growing melancholy as he stared at the sheets, trying not to make eye contact, "What I'm trying to say is, I can't see you guys anymore; those pills aren't safe."

Ian looked up. Anthony was starting to cry while Matt started to look agitated. "I thought you said we were your brothers! You said you wouldn't forget us now you're saying you won't see us anymore? What the hell man; how can taking a pill be dangerous. It's just a little pill!" Matt said defensively.

Ian watched their reactions in shock, he knew they weren't real, just hallucinations caused by morphine, but it all felt so real. The way they could make him laugh was just as strong as the way they could make him hate himself. "I wish I could visit all the time, but David and I were talking about how dangerous the side eff…"

"Oh; I get it," Anthony said, wiping away the tears, "You don't really care about us, you care more about David than us! You just met him! You can't seriously be replacing us with him!"

Matt watched Ian in disgust, "I can't believe you; that guy, that guy in your bed, he's not good. We're the good ones! We are your friends!"

Ian knew Anthony and Matt weren't alive, but he couldn't figure out why his brain would make Anthony and Matt attack him. No matter what Ian said or did Anthony and Matt just continually yelled back. "Please, I want to hang out with you guys too! It's just; I want to hang out with the real Anthony and Matt. You guys are nightmares, not my friends."

Anthony looked into Ian's eyes and realized that attacking him would get them nowhere. "Look," Anthony said reaching to touch Ian's shoulder, but Ian pulled back out of his reach, "I'm sorry; I don't even know why I was so angry before. I guess I was just jealous… that I'm dead." Ian watched them both carefully. As much as he wanted to trust them fully, he couldn't. Ian just shook his head in response. "Stop Ian!" Anthony yelled suddenly, a gash appeared on his forehead. It was followed by several others. Soon Matt had them too; they both began crying in agony, begging Ian to stop hurting them. "This is your fault Ian! It's your fault we died!" They chanted this repeatedly as Ian pleaded with them to stop.

"No! No, please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Ian yelled as he shot up in his bed breathing heavily. David had been trying to wake him up when he started yelling by shaking him gently. When Ian finally woke up he looked frantically around the room to find Matt or Anthony to apologize; to beg for forgiveness.

"Ian! It's okay, I'm here; I'm here!" David said softly, rubbing Ian's back. David knew Ian somehow must have taken a pill or two. "They aren't real Ian, calm down." Finally Ian relaxed into David's caring embrace he knew he didn't deserve. He did exactly what David begged him not to do. Yet David wasn't mad or upset, just concerned.

"I-I had to say goodbye," Ian said, trying to justify his actions, "I needed to say goodbye." David just nodded as he held Ian in his arms. His eyes were watering because he knew that all he could do was sit idly by as Ian went through all of this pain and heartache. He couldn't spend every night at Ian's house after all. Instead he focused on the current situation. "I'm sorry David. I don't know what I was thinking." Ian added, pushing himself higher in the bed so he and David were at eye level.

"I know. It wasn't you making the choice. You couldn't help it, we just have to try and stop you from being able to make the choice." David said before he kissed Ian. He smiled and laid his head on Ian's chest, "Tomorrow we'll flush the rest of your morphine. All of it; and then you're going to spend the night at my house."

Ian nodded as he wrapped an arm around David. He knew that's what he needed to do, but now he had the thought in his head that somehow Anthony and Matt's deaths were his fault. He needed to say goodbye without them yelling at him. He wanted a happy memory to think on when he missed them, not the nightmare he'd received. Again he was stuck trying to choose between his friends and David. He couldn't stand hurting David. Even though David acted so strong he was just like Ian; trying to be strong for someone else.

Ian curled himself around David as he drifted off to sleep, deciding the problem could wait until tomorrow. _For now,_ Ian thought, _I should just focus on the here and now. _


	11. Chapter 11- the morning after

**AN: This chapter was originally going to be longer, but it felt like it naturally ended here. The next couple chapters will probably be this length and I don't know if I'll be able to update until Friday, so no chapter tomorrow. Sorry, but enjoy this!**

Ian and David woke up the next morning earlier than they normally would to flush the rest of Ian's morphine away before the rest of his family woke up. "Ian, tell me where you keep your pills, this way I can be sure it's all gone." David suggested with a stretch. Ian remembered the horrible nightmarish versions of his friends from last night as he handed over the bag he had hidden under his pillow. As he did it though he remembered what they had said. That it was his fault they died; while he knew this was impossible, he couldn't seem to push the thought out of his mind. Even if it wasn't his fault, last night wasn't the proper goodbye he wanted. Ian wanted something he could look back on years from now on the anniversary of the car accident that would give him reassurance that even after they died they still were there for Ian. That he did get to say goodbye to them, rather than receive a teary phone call from Anthony's mom saying that he needed to get to the hospital quickly.

David reached out and took the bag Ian handed him, then followed the instructions Ian gave him around the room, pulling little bags of pills from all sorts of drawers and cubbies in the room. "That's all of it," Ian replied as he stood up to walk to the bathroom. Before he made two steps David had him entrapped in a tight, reassuring hug.

"I know this isn't easy, but you're doing a really good job of staying strong.' David said into Ian's chest before separating and looking into Ian's eyes, "Thank you." He walked with Ian into the bathroom, carefully locked the door, and opened a bag of pills.

Ian grabbed the opened bag and dumped. The entire time he poured the pills out he tried to not thing of Matt and Anthony. It felt like he was dumping their friendship along with the pills. He gasped as the last pill dove into the water. He felt like he was going to start hyperventilating, his breaths were growing shorter and more difficult to take. David saw Ian slipping and reacted quickly; he stepped between Ian and the toilet so Ian couldn't watch the pills spiral away. He rested one hand on Ian's shoulder and the other on his chest. Not only was this meant to relax him, but also hold him back from jumping to save the pills.

Ian warmed to David's touch, but the moment he heard the flush his eyes grew wide and he crumbled to the floor, almost in tears. Anthony and Matt were really gone now, he couldn't just ask Mari for more pills, it had been two days since he got the ones that were now gone. David offered a hand down to Ian; Ian accepted, but rather than help him up David held his and crawled up next to him. While Ian was glad he had David to help his through this he still couldn't help but feel like he did nothing to deserve him. So many other people would be worthy of David and be able to give him the sober love he should have. All David would get out of Ian was a broken vase that would need to be painstakingly glued back together.

David just continued to try and relax Ian, who was still breathing heavily. David moved in front of Ian and pulled him into a soft, short kiss. This pulled Ian back to reality; he realized his parents would be awake soon and they had no idea that David had even spent the night. They quickly walked down the stairs and to the door. Ian and David shared another short kiss, but after they parted Ian held onto him for a few seconds to whisper "Thank you; for being here for me," before letting him go home to get dressed and ready for his first day of school. Ian returned to his room and quickly got dressed before returning down stairs to see his mother groggily spreading cream cheese on a bagel for Ian's breakfast.

"Thanks mom," Ian said before taking a bite, "you didn't have to make me breakfast; I was just going to grab a Poptart."

Before she could reply Ian saw David's car pull up from the corner of his eye. He waved as he hurried out the door. Once inside the car he felt like all the pain of last night and this morning felt like it was a distant memory. Ian promised himself that he'd do his best to be a person David deserved, no matter how hard it would be. He buckled up and leaned over to give David a peck on the cheek, his hand teasingly running across David's crotch.

David felt himself growing red as he pulled away and turn a corner as his pants grew slightly tighter.


	12. Chapter 12- first day

**AN: I'm sorry this chapter took so long update. I had a lot of work this week and in the little time I had to work on it, this chapter was very difficult to write. Anyway, I'm hoping to have the next chapter out sometime later this week, but I'm also going to be working on a gift for Robotiancorn's upcoming birthday. Enjoy.**

David pulled into a parking space in the lot across the street from their school and opened his door as to get out before he stopped and turned to face Ian. He wanted to do something crazy, something he'd never done before, something that would make Ian need him, something like what Ian had done. He leaned forward to kiss Ian but before they connected he realized where they were, they were at school for goodness sakes and David had never been much for PDA. He pulled away and jumped out of the car before Ian had a chance to realize that David just faked him out with a kiss, a kiss he had wanted to have something to look forward to during his boring classes.

Ian hopped out of the car as well with disappointment written across his face. He slung his backpack over one shoulder and hurried up to grab David's arm to pull him away from the crowd. He led the way to a dark corridor between two buildings. The moment they stopped moving Ian crashed his lips into David's; his intention was just for this to be a heated kiss, but Ian suddenly couldn't keep his hands off of David. Initially David tried to pull away from Ian, but he melted into Ian's arms soon enough, not caring about where he was. Ian could feel David's hand running through his hair as his hands slowly moved down David's spine, tingling the whole way. Then Ian ran his hands under the shirt, carefully exploring David's torso.

Ian pulled away first, giving David a look as if asking if he could go on. Before he could reply the bell rang and they heard students stampeding in the hallways to get to class. _Are you fucking kidding me?_ Ian thought as he grabbed David's hand to interlock their fingers together, _Cock-blocked again! _

David raised their hands to his lips and lightly kissed Ian's hand a few times before he let go and walked out toward the school's courtyard. Ian followed and gave David directions to his first class before turning to go to his own class.

The first three classes seemed to drag by to Ian; each one growing longer until finally fourth hour came and relieved his pain. He plopped down in his desk in his American History class as David walked in and looked around to check that he had found the right room. When David's eyes met Ian's they lit up as he made his way to the empty desk next to him. Today was a was a work day, being that they had about 200 pages of notes to do from their book so Ian and David chatted quietly the entire time.

Soon the bell rang and Ian rose as he shoved his binder and other papers into his bag carelessly, crinkling them as he did. Meanwhile David organized his and put them into his backpack with a great deal of care before he stood up and wordlessly following Ian to the cafeteria. He watched Ian closely, thinking about the morphine. He knew it seemed too easy, the way Ian dumped it all away; there was no way it could be that easy, it wasn't for his uncle. David suspected Ian either had more pills hidden somewhere or planned on getting more. Before he could continue his thoughts Ian stopped at a table where a nerdy looking boy with carefully sculpted black hair and glasses sat next to an Asian girl with long dark hair that was curled a little. When she saw Ian she let out a soft breathe of release.

"I was worried about you yesterday, you didn't show up to school," She started to say before she cut herself off, knowing she had almost said too much and just gave Ian a look riddled with hidden meaning.

Ian waved his hand carelessly in her direction as he looked at David who took another step forward and smiled a little, trying his best to look friendly. "This is David," Ian announced as he pulled out a chair for David to sit in, "he just moved in down the street from me." Ian plopped down next to David as Joshua and Mari introduced themselves. David began chatting with them as he felt Ian's hand on his thigh, softly running up and down the inner seam before resting in the middle of his leg. David felt shivers and sparks fly through him, but had to act natural to continue his conversation.

As it turned out David and Joshua got along very well, like brothers; however David wasn't so accepting of Mari. He knew she was the one who had supplied Ian with the Oxycodone, and while he tried not to hold it against her he couldn't help it. Before the lunch hour ended David had already invited Joshua over to play Worms: Armageddon after school with Ian, to which Joshua happily agreed.

He hoped that this meant Ian would be returning to normal, he hadn't seen his friend this happy in a long time. As David quickly described where his car was parked so Joshua would be able to find them after school the bell rang and Ian pulled David by the arm to lead him to their next class, which they also had together, English, where the teacher decided they would read the current novel they were working on aloud.

At the end of English Ian told David to meet him by the dark hallway from the morning because it was the easiest location he though David could recognize. Luckily the last class hour flew bye so the two boys didn't have to wait long before they wrapped their arms around each other and David pulled Ian into a quick, deep kiss before they made their way to David's car. Before David had the chance to start the ignition Ian had thrown himself on top of David.

As the kiss tapered off David returned to a sitting position and leaned in to be kissed again when he saw Josh hurrying over to the car. His eyes grew wide as he pushed Ian, who was obliviously going in for the second kiss, away from him in shock and pointed in Josh's direction.

Joshua slowed his pace as he saw Ian look out the windshield and look in the direction David had pointed. When Ian's eyes locked with Josh's he froze and tried to act natural; meanwhile Joshua tried to calmly figure out if what h saw was what was really going on as he opened the car door and buckled his seatbelt. _Was Ian g- Did that mean he and the new guy were… _ Joshua had to many scrambled thought in his mind as David greeted him naturally and pulled out of the parking lot with a Fall Out Boy song he didn't recognize blaring over the spreakers.


	13. Author's note interuption time!

Hey everyone, I'm so sorry this story hasn't been updated in so long. I have a lot of school work. I know that this is no excuse, but I'm going to do my best to finish the next chapter tomorrow since I get out of school early! Of course because of the school constraint this story will be cut shorter. It was originally going to be about thirty chapters long, but I'm cutting things down and out to between fifteen and twenty. After this story ends I'll stick to writing one shots so this kind of thing won't happen again.

Again sorry, and hopefully there will be another chapter tomorrow, even if it's short!

-Katie


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